Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Leave it to the Chinese

Leave it to the Chinese to invent something that will zap the crap out of a bird if it turns left instead of right. Gee... I wonder if this may be a test ground for something else... hmmm. I mean, how and when did they decide to come up with this idea? All I can imagine is the communist dictator getting angry at his pigeon because it stopped for too many worms on its way home and he became furious. He then turned to his top scientists and threw a billion dollars into a program to make his pigeons obey. There is probably some kind of work in progress to strap a tiny nuke on the poor bird so they can plan a pigeon-nuke-attack on Taiwan.

I have many Chinese friends. Many GREAT Chinese friends. From them, I have listened to countless stories of piano teacher-tyranny in their piano pedagogical past. Stories of teachers smacking their hands with a ruler when they hit a wrong note. One guy told me the back of his hand was bright red after one lesson. Another girl told me that her bladder almost ruptured because she was afraid to ask her teacher if she could go to the bathroom.

Maybe the next great dictator can invent a mandatory chill-zapper-device. Or maybe the Jamaican military (an oxymoron) could drop a hundred billion marijuana seeds across the countryside. Nah, then we would just have another Canada. DOH!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Astronaut Farmer Review

It took me a while to assimilate just how I felt after the closing credits rolled up the screen for this film. I went into the movie with high hopes and sort of left feeling more... refreshed than exhilarated.

The plot: An X-astronaut (almost astronaut I should say) builds a rocket for space travel then gets in trouble with the government, understandably. Everyone thinks he is nuts and sort of a danger to his family, and sadly, no matter how much we like him, he IS building a huge rocket in his barn 35 feet from his house. So, a dangerous man that makes him. He is about to lose his BEAUTIFUL ranch because he has spent all of his money building his rocket. He can't get the fuel he needs so he concocts some kind of pseudo-jet fuel, tries to launch and fails. Dummy. He almost breaks every bone in his body, nearly kills his family and a few of the press. He survives, goes to the hospital, gets well. Meanwhile, his wife's dad dies and leaves them a bunch of cash. She pays of the debt, sees the light and gives him the money to build another rocket, even though this could leave her a widow and her two girls fatherless, not to mention kill them and others if it crashes into a nearby city... or far off city.

Now, I am no scardy cat. I know life is full of danger. It is dangerous to drive to work every day. It can certainly be risky to follow your dreams but we are talking a man and his son building a rocket out of spare rocket parts... I think after one launch that nearly kills me and everyone I love, I might be tempted to hang up the ratchet and buy a ticket on a Russian spacecraft. Honestly, if the dream becomes a SERIOUS bodily threat to your family and others, I am thinking I might find another dream. No matter how much I just LOVE to juggle nitroglycerin, it’s just not worth the risk. But that kind of realism is not what this movie is about. It is about not giving up on your dreams no matter how absurd. So grandpa's croak-money makes it possible and he launches again, makes it to space, has complications when he flies under a satellite -which would be the equivalent of me driving through the desert and passing by a concession stand (its a mighty big space of there)- drops to the ground somewhere in the middle of the Arizona desert and his wife and kids come to pick him up like he had been out for a stroll and he got lost.

Other things made this movie a tad bit boring for me. The dialogue scenes with the family, while endearing, were about the same kind of things. Cute girls laughing at their sweet dad, mom gazing at Astronaut hubby, and an "I am going to the moon and I am taking..." game. (which is a cool game btw) Not even a surprise appearance from Bruce Willis could spark the fire in the family dialogue, which was like drinking milk when you want a margarita. The one family fight scene actually seemed more like a relief than a stress.

So for all its good ideas and good story line, it was a little.... boring. I would still recommend it for anyone who wants to take the entire family to a movie. Good wholesome story-telling that was a little.... boring. I said that already, but I felt the warning must be double-dosed here.

Astronaut Farmer B-

Friday, February 23, 2007

White Stripes, Doorbell


Another "Christian" artist that I like. Jack White, from the White Stripes.

On Home Page of On the Lot!

My film "a day in a life" is on the front page of the website under the "most viewed" category! Fun. I am getting a lot of positive and constructive feedback from viewers and other filmmakers. (With an occasional anonymous heckler) (click here) Drop by and view and review if you haven't already!Be sure and let me know if you did so I can say thanks.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

My Wife

My Wife is amazing. That is all there is to it. I have no clue how she is able to handle me or why she married me. I can be so confusing at times. I am A.D.D. of the charts, I am dyslexic so she is constantly proofreading my papers and essays, I can be a real slob, (at any random time there could be 4 coffee cups all over our apartment,) AND she married a dreamer. A BIG dreamer. It takes a special person to be married to one of those crazies. Just like it takes a special mom to raise a disabled child. (That is not meant as a joke!)

For the past 3 days she has done nothing but encourage and help me, full time, to pursue my dreams. Your spouse, more than anyone else should be the presence of Christ in your life. She is always that in some way or another, but many times I think spouses miss this part that she gets. They forget that the other has dreams. They are passionate. Amber takes the time to ask me what they are, she challenges me, lifts me up, and pushes me towards those passions and to fearlessly follow the Lord in what ever desire or dream He puts in my heart. While other people want to discourage me or tell me "you know, God doesn't always give you what you want" she is telling me it is still okay to risk the rejection, the hurt and to go ahead and ask or go for it. As a matter of fact it is better to ask and pursue, taking the chance of failure, than to sit and do nothing.

I could talk about her all day.

Plus she is totally HOT.

What a woman.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Help Me Get to Know Spielberg...

FOX network is doing a new reality show. This one is REEAAALLLLY cool. Its called "On the Lot” One of the creators of this show is the great Steven Spielberg. The purpose is to find 16 amateur filmmakers from around the world for participation in a filmmaker reality show. Basically a Film American Idol kind of thing. The last day to submit, upload or postmark your film was day before yesterday and I made it in the knick of time. At the end the competition the director will be awarded a million dollar development deal with DreamWorks.

I have entered this competition with a short film I did a few years back. It is a short "art" film and it is a silent film. Before the film they ask that we add a little intro about ourselves so that's on there too.

Here is where YOU come in and help your old buddy. The producers of the show are LETTING VIEWERS RATE the submitted films and THIS WILL PLAY A PART IN THE CHOOSING OF THE 16.

What would be AWESOME is if you all, my friends and compadres, would go to this site, take one minute to register and then give my film a rating and or a review. I would love to hear your input!!!! Please go review it. It will only take a second.

Also, if you feel so inclined, you have my permission to tell as many people as you want, AND if you are hard up for a blog topic, fire away with this one!!!

A reminder: This is a low budget, (0$) short "art" film. I shot it with one camera and a Mac with imovie. So don't expect the Matrix or Indy Jones. Also, if you right a review, there is no need to let on that you know me in the review. It will be more credible if you don't say "see you at church" or "you are the best teacher!" Although these things are flattering and I really LOVE seeing you at church, or teaching you theory, ear training or Guitar lessons, I imagine they won't take you too seriously. So, that being said, feel free to be honest. Go ahead and leave 5 out of 5, or even 4 out of 5... you could even score 3 out of 5... ... If you decided 2 or less out of five may a curse fall upon you and your animals.

Lastly, I scored the film as well. Hope you enjoy!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH, RATE AND REVIEW MY FILM.. PLEAAASE!!!!!

Be More, recap.

Be more. I know I have already blogged about this but I feel the need to summarize and reiterate. Be more. A Christian should feel deeper love, compassion, passion, desire, joy, and sorrow. In short, they should be more like a child. Not a child in the way that they lack wisdom, "childish" but in that there is a sense of wonder and amazement. Every saint should stand in the presence and know that the Spirit flows through them so magnificently that there could be no more or less. We simply pull back the curtain the more we seek Him and live to the fullest.

Stop looking behind you at mistakes or could-have would-haves in the past. Look forward to every day that is a brilliant and love-blinding gift. Engage in what is ahead. Regret or wishing you could have done something in the past, is delighting in that thing that you didn't do or that regret. When you do this you needlessly torture yourself. Delight in the Lord, in the here and now, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ask God to help you 'feel' today and 'see' today how He sees. Soak it all in, because when you do, you are soaking in Him as well. He is in it all, and holds it together. He thinks that it is good and we should as well. He made it for us.

Soak it up people!

Friday, February 16, 2007

My Humps.

I just wanted to have a blog title with that name. Nothing really relating to that here. I've always though that it was just such a hilarious name for a song. I think I'll right a song titled "My Bulge." Yeah, that'll sell a million. Maybe I can right a hip hop ballet and call it "My Bulge."

Okay, that's about enough of that. No more mental images, PLEASE Lord. Soooooo. How's it going. Really? That bad huh? Well that will usually clear up in 3 to 4 weeks.

This is a test. This is a test of the needlessy posting blogcast system. This only a test.

Did you know that you can spell favorite in Britain with a "u". Favourite. Sorta pointless if you ask me. Come on. Jump on the bandwagon here and just drop the "U" why don't ya. Kinda like that King and Queen bit you've got going on over there. Geeze what a waste of a bagazillion dollars. Sort of like owning a 40 billion dollar barbie doll house except the Barbie is a really old short lady.

That's all for now.

This has been a test of the pointless emergency blogcast system. Thank you for your cooperation.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

People That Shouldn't Have Won Acadamy Awards

5. Denzel Washington in Training Day. Total jip. Russel Crow for a Beautiful Mind should have won that night. It was Black History night so anyone that was not black didn't stand a Chance. Plus Crow was fresh off of one of his phone assaulting sprees and somewhere some poor gay hotel clerk was cheering Crow's defeat while holding a cold steak to his black eye. Yes Denzel is a GREAT actor and should have won for Malcolm X, but in this movie he played a cop/mobster and with the usual intensity and excellence that he has in every other movie. I liked his Crimson Tide performance better.

4. Halley Berry, monster's ball. One of my LEAST favorite actors. She practically ruined the X3 with almost every poorly acted word. So she stripped naked and practically got porn-jiggy with Billy Bob. To some people this might merit her the "Greatest actor/woman/human In the Universe Award" but there were three other women on the roster that night that were WAAAAAY better. Again, Black History night, except she is half white.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow. She did a good job as Shakespeare's Juliet inspiration but Kate Blanchett should have won, hands-down for her chilling and magnificent portrayal of Elizabeth. Kate can do anything. Gwyneth is good at acting pouty on screen and acting like she is common on "Inside the actor's studio" all-the-while reminding everyone in the room that she is better than them with every planned glance, but stick to the period chick-flicks. (I did like her in Talented Mr. Ripley, but again, Kate was better in that as well.)

2. Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. So everyone LOVED this depressing bit of film but me. Nick was good and I gotta love him but come on, Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking???? Should have won hands-down. Sean's performance was Brando-in-Streetcar good. Pacino-in-Godfather good. Hopkins-in-Silence-of-the-Lambs good. Just amazing. What a movie.

1. Everyone is going to hate me for this... AT FIRST. So yes, Hanks is awesome. I love him. Deserved every award and would have deserved the award if it weren't for a little performance by Morgan Freeman in a little known movie "Shawshank Redemption." In my book Freeman should have made Academy history that night. Shawshank is still one of my favorite movies. Gump however, gets a tad sappier every year. GENNAYYYY! Favorite hanks performance will always be in "Big" for me.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I Passed. Praise God. Finally.

No, not a kidney stone. I passed my exams. (although it was probably as painful as a kidney stone) I am a mere 2 small steps away from being Dr. Seth Ward.

Oh good lord does that sound old. It just looks weird. I think I'll make people call me Dr. Ward for at least a week. Maybe I'll put "Dr. Ward" on my underwear to make sure mine don't get mixed up in the laundry.

My mom used to put my name on my underwear to not mix them up with my dad's. However appreciative I was for my mom's efforts to help me to NEVER slip on a pair of my dad's underoos, it still made life a little hellish for the old gym class locker-room.

"Ha! Is that in case you get lost and some one needs to call mommy? Is your phone number on there and your favorite candy?"

That kind of stuff. All I could think to say was... "quit lookin' at my ass." But that didn't stop the tidal wave of ridicule. Lets just say I learned to put my pants on by practically thinking it. If I ever had a Napoleon Dynamite moment that one was it.

Anyway, enough about that. Ahem.

So thanks for your prayers and encouragement. The hardest part of my degree is over. Now all I have to do is write a mammoth orchestra piece and that is just fun. Got any good ideas for a theme? (I work well with themes)

I was thinking about making the compositional process of my orchestral work a part of this blog. Post the process of writing a work for orchestra the whole thematic development stuff.... Anyone interested in that or is it up there with listening to a running toilet?

Thanks again my friends.

Be More Human. Don't be a Floater.

I've been a floating Spirit. It sucks. My face buried in a bible, my body buried in the activities of the Church and my mind so preoccupied with heaven and how perfect I need to be that I don't do a damn bit of good on this Earth. It's weird how we can "feel" so spiritual but at the same time can't relate to a fellow believer, not to mention a fellow sinner. I think this comes from a false idea of what it means to be a Saint.

Saints aren't those lofty glowing figures painted on murals and on high ceilings. These figures that always seem to say the right thing for the right occasion and have the perfect judgment to pass upon the poor lowly sinners around them. His or her words are filled with the most edifying clichés, fitting the situation with the most devastating obviousness that it ruins the very thought of further dialogue. You know what I'm talking about...

Sinner: "Man, I really struggle with this sin..."

Floater: "Well you just need to put your trust in Jesus and it'll all be alright..."

Sinner: "Yeah.... (Awkward silence)"

Floater: "Well, do you know the Lord?"

Sinner: "Well, I thought I did until just now..."

This is the Saint in his most useless form. He's a floater, and the pun is very much intended. He doesn't stand a chance of feeling the slightest bit humanity or empathy. After all, isn't the formula for being Spiritual to deny our humanity? Is not Nature and Grace diametrically opposed?

Let me pause to answer this very clear, not just no but H-E double hockey sticks NO.

Before one can be a Saint, he must be a man or woman. Grace builds upon our nature and heals it, it doesn't destroy it. Not only where all the saints perfectly human, not only did their holiness enrich their humanity, but the Holiest of all the Saints, the Incarnate Word, Jesus Christ, was himself the most deeply and perfectly human being who ever lived on the face of the earth.

If we are to be perfect as Christ is perfect, we must strive to be perfectly human as he was, not just Spiritually perfect, in order that he may unite us with his WHOLE divine being and share with us his FULL sonship of the heavenly Father.

Being a Saint is not a matter of being LESS human, but a matter of being MORE human. It means having a greater capacity for compassion, humility, concern, suffering, but it also implies having a greater capacity for laughter, joy, understanding, passion, Love, and a sense of wonder for the beautiful things in life.

Jesus wasn't some lofty guy roaming around from city to city with an otherworldly gaze in his eye. I hate those movies. No, when he looked at you it would have gone straight to the core of not only you, but of Himself; a warmth of kindness and friendship that was and is irresistible. This is why his disciples would have given their lives for him and eventually did. This is why the spoke of him with not only reverence as Lord and God but with the tenderness of remembering the best friend that a man could ever have. One who you would never want to leave because it would break your heart. In America friendship has been nearly ruined. Men are afraid to have a close friend because everyone will think they are a homosexual. This is very sad. We have forgotten how powerful true friendship is. David and Jonathan wept bitterly at their parting. The disciples felt this, and Jesus did to at the tomb of Lazarus. We don't know how to be friends anymore, and this is tragic. A true friendship is eternal. It is the glimpse of our lives in heaven.

We need to be more. Flush the floater concept. Someday heaven will be filled with men, women and our older and mightier brethren the Angels. The greatest moments of Joy now, those times when you are laughing with your family and friends and briefly forget all the cares of the world, are mere glimpses of that future joy. That joy and 'feeling' life starts now. So, get your head out of the bible and engage. Take a look at your flesh, your passions and know that God has created them and that Holiness will come through the Spirit working in that flesh by the inner-working of Him in your "inner-being" so that the healing is done by the active Love itself, (i.e. you loving others and yourself) instead of your futile attempts at a violent suppression of your passions.

As Thomas Merton says so beautifully-

"Grace builds on nature not by suppressing instinct, but by healing and elevating it to a spiritual level."

And Jesus said it the best:

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Friday, February 09, 2007

Shake it Bill

"The aroused champion labeled "zany" caked an epileptic, disheartened elbow, buzzed a bedroom buzzer, hurried the majestic lonely moonbeam and vaulted the lower summit blushing. The lackluster and noiseless skim-milk puking, compromised the beached olympian. The obscene rant was laughable."

These are all words that Shakespeare invented. (Besides the articles and conjunctions)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Top 5 Worst Parable Starters...

We've all come up with a few doosies. We've certainly heard a few doosies. Max Lucado moments. Pastel parables. Kinkade Christ-filled encounters... Sometimes those stories, actually most these stories just don't work with me. Can't connect. There are people that are good at telling these little precious moments but most, I'm afraid are bad or just so smothered in cheese I need to drink a glass of metamucil after I read them. So I've decided to come up with the "top five worst ways to start your Christian Allegory." Feel free to add your own.

5. So last year, I had my very first barium enema...

4. I remember the time I opened the door to my grandma and grandpa's bedroom late one night...

3. Next week my wife and I are going to have this particular "rash" checked out...

2. I was brushing my teeth after vomiting the other night and... (This one is Amber's)

1. So... you just have to imagine the scenereo... There I was, in a leapord thong, swatting these blood-thirsty mesquitos...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz

Started reading this book tonight. Then I stopped. Tried to read it again. When I woke up 39 minutes later, I couldn’t remember a better nap. It is now officially my new nap pill. Here's a sample.

"There are few circumstance among those which make up the present condition of human knowledge more unlike what might have been expected, or more significant of the backward state in which speculation on the most important subjects still lingers, than the little progress which has been made in the decis..... asl;dfkd " oh sorry dozed off there.... ahem, "which has been made in the decision of the controversy respecting the criterion of right and wrong."

Now, he is right and the subject matter is interesting, which is why I picked up this book. It's good to hear the other side of things sometimes. But sometimes I wonder what these guys must have been like in real life.

"Hey dad, tell me a story..."

"Okie dokie,son. Once upon a time there was the square root of 394534839 and it met a mizltofflebutialtormaximizingmifflestator ... ograph. I took the content of the fifth quadratic formula and antidisastablishmentaniarianism'ed it until the quadrant 23,9450 of quasar 39, Vector 3 supernova'd. The end."

What's the most boring book you've ever read? Or were forced to read?

Monday, February 05, 2007

About that Test

Hopefully, I am not boring the ever-living socks of you talking about all of this school crap. It’s just that it is about the only thing going on in my life right now as everything else is on hold, which is hard for me. VERY hard. I have 3 EXCITING things coming up that I CAN'T WAIT to get to and it is just about to kill me. Until then, I'm creativity non grata. (Didn’t really work but you know what I mean)

There were 7 major questions on this test spanning a period of about 2000 years of History. Meaning, they (the evil-test maker) could reach their hand into Pandora's Box and draw any question they want from all that time and you have to know the answer, citing composers, works, sociology, political climate, philosophy, science, math... (Music was affected and by all of these and in turn played a part in the development of them all.)

Of the 7 questions, the first one is the only one I am worried about. The question was: "Describe the 15th and 16th century Chanson, citing works, composers, and developments."

Now that sounds like the typical nerdola questions I've been spouting off here but it is one of the smallest and most insignificant genres of that period. I probably got a 50% on that question. I knew about it, read about it, but comparatively, it is small potatoes to the Madrigal, Motet, Mass, Opera, Gregorian Chant... all of which I could write BOOKS about right now. Conjuring up what I knew for that question felt like trying to see the furthest and dimmest galaxy in the night sky through a pair of cracker-jack binoculars... through a thin veil of clouds. Oh well. It’s a miracle that I remembered what I did.

The rest of the test I would grade myself as an A-. We will see what the prof.'s say.

I can't believe they picked the chanson. It would be like studying Genesis and asking you to talk about the color, grooming and bathing habits of Noah's pet poodle, the girl poodle. Kind of a low blow.

Suckers.

I Did It

Nope I'm not talking about the test. Yeah I did that too and did okay. I'm talking about -I broke down this afternoon and bought myself a BIG MAC BABY.

Sentiments: Heartburn.

Regrets: None.

Feeling Fatter? Yes. This picture is what I feel like. (btw about that picture... What in the firetruck where they thinking?)

Burping hot burning air as I type? Yes

Needing a Nap? extra-Yes-with chili cheese.

Going to eat another one? Heck no. (at least for another year.)

Where's the Zantac...

Sunday, February 04, 2007

1st Test Tomorrow, 8:00 A.M.

Pray for me friends.

Possible Questions:

1. Outline and discuss the political and social differences between the Ars Nova and the Trecento. Discuss how these differnces effected the important musical genres of each.

2. Discuss the development of Opera from 16th to the Opera Reform of the 18th century.

Just typing these makes my hands sweat.

The Beauty of Bach

Try and forget all the billions of times you have heard this at weddings. Try to imagine this when it was fresh, and was straight from the soul of a composer the likes of whom Western Civilization has not seen since. He has toiled all week for a new Cantata, he brings in the parts, hands them to the boys choir, the instrumentalist, and after the Communion is observed, this Praise to God the Son echoes off the glorious stone and Marble walls of that German Church, filled to the brim with worshipers.

These words struck me today and brought me to tears. So listen and try to forget weddings, and think only of the one whom it exhalts. It may not be your thing, but what a great offering.



Jesus, joy of man's desiring
Holy wisdom, love most bright
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light
Word of God, our flesh that fashioned
With the fire of life impassioned
Striving still to truth unknown
Soaring, dying round Thy throne

It is well for me that I have Jesus
Steadfastly I cling to him
That he may refresh my spirit
When I am sad and sorrowful,
I have Jesus, he loves me
And gives himself for me;
Therefore I can never leave him,
Though my heart should break.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Dear Microsoft...

I am really interested in your new product. You see, I really don't like dependability. I am into that "hey, holy crap where did my important file go" thing. That seems like a really cool feature. Right now I have a Mac. I've had it for a year now and I haven't had to restart it cold yet. Not one single freeze. Honestly, that gets a bit old. I really admire your ability to put out products that are unpredictable and that suck. Please, please, make more. The world is in desperate need of spontaneity.

Again, thank you for all the fine, fine work you do.

p.s. Please come out with a phone that shocks my face when I put it to my ear. Mac has that new phone coming out and its bound to be so perfectly awesome and perfectly boring. All those cool features, wrapped into one...

Boring. Shock me baby. Or at least make it delete a few brain cells or something.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Music of the Spheres

The Greeks had it figured out. About music that is.

Music was thought to be born of the Gods. People thought music had magical powers. It was said to heal sickness, purify the body and mind and work miracles in the realm of nature. If you think about it that isn't to far off from the Old Testament story of David and Solomon when he played his harp and cured Saul's madness.

Music had a wider meaning for the Greeks. It was inseparable with numbers, which were thought to hold the key to the whole spiritual and physical universe. So when the sounds and rhythms were organized, it exemplified the harmony of the cosmos and corresponded to it. Plato expounded this theory in the Republic.

In fact, most of the important Greek thinkers associated it with the Cosmos. Mathematical laws corresponded both the underlying system of music and the stars and planets. Therefore, each planet was associated with different modes. Plato wrote of this correspondence in "The music of the Spheres" - the unheard music produced by the revolution of the planets.

It is interesting to note that as science progresses, scientists are discovering that everything has a "pitch” Even string theory supports this notion. The notion that all things are made of the tiniest of tiny 'strings' that vibrate and, in a way, form a kind of harmony, creating structure to all matter.

Recently, the universe was said to have the pitch of a Bb.

Kenny G Church. I'm SO There.

"The new Kenny G church is really causing a ruckus in the Christian Subculture. Apparently the worship band dresses up like Kenny G and his band and only do popular Kenny G songs to lift their their praises in a spree of tender soft rock glossolalia. 'The song "Sade" has never sounded so spirit-filled.' One new member remarked. Another notes, 'If it weren't for the Kenny G church, I wouldn't even be in church at all. The Gospel just makes so much sense when I can see and hear it in curls.' The lead player has a curly hair wig and the rest of the band are wearing Aviators and Berets. This new KG church is projecting 200% growth in the first quarter alone. Get in while you can!!!! The WWKGD bracelets are going fast people."

In all honesty, I really wish there would be an Elton Church or a Beatles Church. Hey, Levon talks about Jesus right?

Yeah, an Elton Church would kick some serious booty. "Goodbye Beelzebub, though I never knew you at all..."

(ht: Andrew Osenga's blog on the U2 Church.)